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Writer's picturejennifercoon21

Does Nobody Like You When You're 23?


Last Wednesday, February 1, I turned 23 years old (Alexa, play "What's My Age Again?" by Blink-182). I got to spend the evening with my sister in Columbus, go to our favorite local bookstore, and enjoy a delicious dinner out between being in the city for an interview. As I reflect on my 23 years of life, I'm starting to wonder: does nobody like you when you're 23?


I always thought I would graduate college with a full-time job lined up. I dreamed of being an editor at a publishing house in New York City for over a decade, and everything I had done leading to my graduation last May was a step in that direction. However, my dreams didn't become a reality, and I left Columbus to move into my parents' house with no full-time job in sight. I applied and started to work at my local Target, but the flexibility that this job gave me allowed me to visit Columbus, Boston, and Chicago and host my college roommate for a weekend in my hometown. I also got an internship at a publishing company in Washington, D.C. that gave me a really great first experience in book publishing. While the beginnings of my first post-grad weren't what I wanted, it wasn't completely awful because of the friends and support system I have.


However, adult friendships are incredibly hard. My solid friend group in college separated to three different states. We were juggling three different schedules with a full-time, part-time, and no job availability, and eventually, I was the only one working part-time in retail and interning with a completely different schedule than my friends. It was hard to find times we were all free to talk around work, social events, and the holidays. Seeing that my friends and I were all in different stages of life, while I have some that are also younger than me and still in college, it was difficult to feel like I wasn't behind or doing something wrong.


I guess this is all to say that navigating adult friendships and expectations for adult life has been far from what I expected. I wish it was easier, but I'm glad that I have friends who are willing to put in the extra effort and make time for us to get together virtually, even if it's only to talk about The Bachelor or for a movie night. I'm glad that I have friends who welcome me to their city and plan a fun weekend for my time with them. I'm glad that I have friends who make time to see me when they're passing through our hometown during their time off, even if they can only do lunch one day of the week. Even though adult friendships take more effort sometimes, my friends are worth the effort because they make me feel like I am worth their extra effort.


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